whoops

it's been 2 months since i last blogged. some might take that as a sign that i have nothing to say- but those that know me know i ALWAYS have something to say... about something...

today on my way home from work i decided it was time i blog again. but then i got home and decided that playing monopoly on my wii was a better idea. i played that stupid game for 2 hours. i realized mid way through the game how much i hated the "computerized" version of monopoly. it takes forever- and the computer always seems to win. thank goodness i didn't actually buy the game. i rented it from blockbuster- i figured that was the smart way to test out games im interested in. that way i don't spend $40 on a game that i can't stand. it's just too bad you can't rent a wii fit. im considering buying one... but just can't make a decision. i mean- do you really get a workout using it?!?

so.. in the last 2 months a lot has gone on in life. i was feeling pretty shitty for pretty much all of November. so shitty that i didn't think i was ever going to feel good again.... you know how when you get a cold and you feel like you are always going to have it? that's how i was starting to feel. i was frustrated, tired, weak, cranky, emotional.... you name it.

on December 1st or 2nd (i can't remember) i was admitted to the hospital to have a feeding tube placed in my stomach.... i was down in the creepy cold room where they do the procedure and i hear- lindsey- we won't be able to put the feeding tube in you- your liver is in the way. i remember asking the nurse if i was going to die. even though i was pretty out of it (i don't remember most of my hospital stay) i knew that i need nutrients in my body- and i wasn't able to do it by eating at that time.

i won't bore you with all the details of what went on.. but to summarize i was in the hospital for almost a week- a couple of those days were spent in ICU. my potassium dropped to a 2. (normal is between 3.5-4). the dr's actually told my parents if i was there age i probably wouldn't have pulled through all of this. i was discharged from the hospital on dec. 7th and was sent home with a tpn machine. it's kinda like an iv- but it gave me all the nutrients i needed. i spent 14 hours a day hooked up to this machine. i did this for almost 3 weeks.

skipping ahead to now.... (im feeling lazy and don't feel like typing everything...) i'm feeling pretty good. im able to eat my 3 meals a day and am able to get more fluids in then i was previously. im still not hitting my goal/recommendation of 64 ounces a day- but im trying my best. i started back at work last week. which was nice. i missed the socialization.

i must say- going through all that i have since my surgery has really showed me who my true friends are. i was pretty hurt- that i only had 1 visitor the entire time i was in the hospital and out of work- which was pretty much the entire month of december. in fact- i really didn't have any communication from my friends. a couple people called once or twice to check in- but that was about it. let me tell ya- december was a lonely month. i spose i could have made more of an effort to call people and ask them to come see me... but i guess i just felt like maybe they would just offer to do that... maybe im wrong.

well- that's all i have the patience to write for now. im kinda tired, cold and really just want to read a book with my little space heater on. oh- i should add i might even be a little cranky right now! :)