it's 11 o'clock. in just 7 short hours i will be heading to the hospital........
i've wanted this for 2 years... and it's finally here. and so is the realization that my life will never be the same. what a crazy feeling... so often my life has changed- but most of the time it's been things that are out of my control. this- is something that i have complete control over.
as of right now i am pretty clam. im also feeling really strong and positive. i have amazing people in my life supporting me, i have a great medical team taking care of me and i have a new life waiting for me. while i have so many people supporting me through this- there are a couple people in my life that haven't been as supportive and concerned for my well being as i had hoped. (Mom- if you're reading this... you may want to close your eyes for this part) for those that fall into that category- i'd like to say a great big "fuck you"!! please don't take that the wrong way... i wish nothing bad on these people... im just ready to move on..... im not sure if these individuals even know who they are- as they tend to be to wrapped up in their own lives. that was me venting about some negative people in my life... now i've vented... and now im moving on... if this surgery has taught me one "life lesson" so far... it's that i don't need people in my life just to say i have people in my life. i don't want to keep people in my life if they can't accept my decisions and support me or disagree with my decisions but still support me. so from this moment on.. instead of getting upset and venting- i am just going to let it go.
i keep typing.. and erasing... typing and erasing.... which is probably the reason it took me 40 minutes to write this blog! and i didn't even write everything i thought about or wanted to write! i won't be able to blog tomorrow on how things went... but i am taking a journal with me. once i am home and feeling up to it i will put some of my thoughts from the day of surgery on here.
well... here i go- onto my new life!!
xoxox
lou
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3 comments:
Way to go, Linds! I'm so proud of you. I'm thinking of you lots today and am anxious to hear how things went. I love you!!!
Hello Lady
I have been thinking about you a lot the last 2 days. I hope that things are going the best they can for you at this time. Your blogs are awesome. I will talk to you soon.
At a girl! I just spoke to you on the phone yesterday. I'm so proud that you have been so dedicated.
Thinking of you!
-AP
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